Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
