Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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