after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
