My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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