great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
