Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
