I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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