This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
