Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
