out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
