i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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