Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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