Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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