sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
