I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
do herpes really smell.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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