I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
