So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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