Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
