omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
