So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Randomize
