Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Duck Duck Cougar?
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize
