READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
