remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
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