Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Randomize
