ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
