i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
