you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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