can we get nightvision for the apartment?
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
