Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
