so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
