i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Randomize
