so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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