let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
