yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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