How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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