Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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