She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
