just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
