Can i not drive my cunt home
Where did you get a picture of my penis
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I don't �care how much you're grieving �a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.�
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
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