If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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