I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Randomize
