I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
