I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
