i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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