You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
