I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
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