How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
