My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
