Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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