i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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